@Dawn_M_: I never eat coins in front of vending machines because I don't want them to fall in love with me.
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@Cali_Kid_Mike: So this smoke detector is trying to tell me the battery is so dangerously low that it can only beep 4000 times?
@OneFunnyMummy: I remember Daddy told me fairy tales can come true so any time an old lady offers me an apple or cookie I kill her and bury her in the woods
@daemonic3: [candle store] WIFE: Do you have vanilla? "No" WIFE: Apple? "Nope" WIFE: Lavender? "Sorry" ME: Let's go, this guy lacks common scents