@rolldiggity: I never feel guilty about eating baby carrots because it's not like adult carrots are doing anything great with their lives.
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@casual_koala: My grandfather wanted to stay fit when he turned 60 so he decided to start running a mile a day. He's 65 now and we don't know where he is.
@KeetPotato: did you get the job? "i don't know yet" when will they tell you? interviewer: "keith can you please ask your mum to wait in reception"
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: what should I do? Dentist: stop eating sugar, drinking coffee and wine, cut back on stress.. Me: right but like realistically