@LackOfShame: I never feel like a bigger failure than when my dog re-scratches something I just scratched for her.
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@TheMichaelRock: You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I'm like that, but with salad.
@MrDelFreaky: Fun Fact: If you lie down in an aisle at Walmart for a couple hours, they will tag you and put you in a clearance bin.
@luiki89: It's been a horrible morning so far. My ex got run over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver :(