@UNTRESOR: I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells.
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@Black__Elvis: I'm sick and tired of all these goddamn illegal aliens taking jobs away from good, hard-working American aliens.
@BeardSpice: How to kill two birds with one stone: Step 1: throw a stone at a bird Step 2: go pick up that stone Step 3: throw it at another bird
@WilliamAder: Was standing in my front yard this evening and some neighborhood kids tried to deflate me.
@RafaelaStoakes: If a kid asks you to check under the bed for monsters & you look, scream & run out of the room, you wont be asked to baby sit again!