@Underchilde: I never keep toilet paper in the guest bathroom. They don’t need that kind of incentive to visit again.
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@FBSisnothere: You know you have something special w someone when u start finishing their sentences. But enough about me & my local Subway sandwich artist
@OreoSpeedwagon_: Note to self: hairspray does not kill spiders; it merely increases their strength and makes them look flawless all day.
@SocialustGal13: My superpower is making red lights turn green simply by trying to write a tweet.