@outsmartedmommy: I never knew how long it took a human to fall asleep until I had kids. In case you're wondering it's 2 hours, 3 cups of water, & 18 books.
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@pauleggleston: I saw a statue of Cinderella today. I didn't like it, but I found the plinth charming.
@InternetHippo: arya: so good to be back home with the sister i havent seen in 5 years & thought was dead sansa: yeah it’s— arya: i am going to murder you
@jergarl: My stages of awkward: Sober me: I don't know what to do with my hands Drunk me: I don't know what to do with my face High me: What face?
@SteveSuckington: [job interview] "What's your.." *interrupts* -My greatest strength is my work ethic "Well played. Welcome to the psychic friends network"