@BDublicious: I never knew the word "mom" could even have 7 syllables until I had kids.
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@robfee: Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck. No one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth.
@joejwest: ME: Good date? FRIEND: Ok. Until he got undressed ME: Then what? FRIEND: [sticks out pinky finger] ME: Ah. Then he drank tea in a fancy way
@TheToddWilliams: You're never gonna believe this but Ben Carson's full name is Benghazi Carsonofsatan
@patrickoriley: It's weird to think there was a time when the most data a tablet could hold was five commandments.