@pleatedjeans: I never pay for drinks I just insult women at bars & when they throw drinks in my face I open my mouth haha thanks for the free booze ladies
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@lawyerthoughts: court: counsel why are you yelling your questions from back there? me: i've got my phone plugged in back here your honor.
@BillDixonish: Halloween is the only day of the year you can ask someone "what are you supposed to be?" without triggering an existential crisis.