@Loli_Sug: I never point out when someone's zipper is down. I just zip it up for them.
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@CourtneyBale: "Excuse me, do you validate parking?" I sure do, champ. *kisses your forehead* Your parking is second to none.
@RidiculousSheri: [on a date] *don't let him know you're a bird* Him: I'll drive us. I just had my car cleaned and detailed. Me: *poops all over windshield*
@1Happytwit: If you're already in the cop car, I really can't see how puking in it could make things any worse.
@SatansTongue: There's something I should tell you... "Oh god what is it" I have crabs "NOOO" *holds up two crabs* "Oh I thought you meant-" And HIV "NOOO"