@pinningnut: I never question my sanity, I'm afraid it will answer back.
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@AmishPornStar1: The amount of time you spend cleaning your house before a friend comes over is inversely proportional to the quality of that friendship.
@shkeeber: Mom: Where're you going? Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends? Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...
@jonnysun: my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard / their like, is this organic? do u hav a vegan option? can u make it with froyo insted
@CopBroughtPizza: pet owner's tip: glue the very tip of your cat's tail to the center of their back to make a convenient cat-carrying handle.