@PinkCamoTO: I never realized just how much of parenting is surreptitiously throwing away artwork.
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@brettminor: In 1993, I saw a toddler slip on ice and land on a cat, but I didn't have any social media outlet to tell people about it. So, here it is.
@GrumpyBahr: Dr: I need a urine and stool sample. Me: *hands him my underwear* Dr:...... Me: Its all there.
@capricecrane: People who love dark chocolate are always so snobby about it. Relax. It's just chocolate, you elitist ninnies.
@markydoodoo: I'm 34 years old and I still don't know what to do when the barber shows me the back of my head with that little mirror.