@mjkspeaks: I never text and drive bc that would imply that I actually go places.
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@EvilPandaX: Things not too say before a 3some: Of Course we're going to wait for your friend, she's the hot one.
@CruisinSoozan: I don't want to alarm anyone but I've purchased a ukulele. Soon as I can jam, there'll be auditions for my band behind the 7-11. NO WEIRDOS
@david8hughes: [phone rings] "Mr Hughes?" "Yeah." "We need u to come pick yr son up from school." "Ugh. Whats he done now?" "Nothing. Its nearly midnight."
@urmumsausername: I saw a TV for sale for only £1 because the volume button was stuck Did I buy it? Of course I did! Well, I couldn't turn it down Could I?