@abbycohenwl: I never thought I'd meet the man of my dreams while I was out running errands in sweat pants with no make-up on. And I was right
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@caribbeankris: I've kept my tamagotchi alive for the past 15 years, so yeah Mom, I know what it's like to raise an "ungrateful little prick"
@WritePlay: Anjelica Huston got married to the inventor of autocorrect and now her legal name is Ageless Ice Houseboat.
@Sophie2078: I spilled coffee over my keyboard, so I spent all day asking letters from my employees. "Give me a "g" "Give me an "h" They hate me now.
@dafloydsta: A hangover so good you crawl out of the bedroom naked and sleep for 6 more hours on the kitchen floor.