@abbycohenwl: I never thought I'd meet the man of my dreams while I was out running errands in sweat pants with no make-up on. And I was right
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@Reverend_Scott: God: welcome to heaven. here's your wings. Adam West: [putting on batman cowl] I won't be needing those.
@shkeeber: There's no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
@StayNobody: What can I get you to drink? "Pepsi" Is Peps- Uh one moment please [In kitchen, to manager] I don't know, he just said Pepsi. What do I do?
@Rollinintheseat: I made fun of a guy for still having a Nokia phone. He threw it at me and knocked me unconscious.