@abbycohenwl: I never thought I'd meet the man of my dreams while I was out running errands in sweat pants with no make-up on. And I was right
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@misfarber: I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I'm being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I'm talking about
@TitaniumToplass: *casually walks into a crowded Sushi Restaurant wearing a dolphin costume* *suddenly stops, looks horrified, & backs slowly out the door*
@GingerHotDish: Went a little too hard on leg day at the gym and the next day I couldn't walk. Naturally, I lied and told my friends that I met someone...
@delusionaliam: Turns out, pounding a wooden stake through a vampire's heart works even if a guy is not a vampire.