@ObscureGent: I never took a drama class but everyone at this birthday believes that I love this gluten free cake.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Kids: *doing something they shouldn't* Me: Stop or I'll be mad Kids: *keep doing it* Me: Stop or Mom will be mad Kids:*stop immediately*
@AndrewNadeau0: If someone asks if I have time to talk about Jesus I tell them yes but they have to give me an equal amount of time to talk about Ducktales.
@Chumpstring: PATIENT: i just feel like something is missing from my life THERAPIST: [is a cat] have you tried biting plastic