@miss_foofoo: I never understood why people get buried in suits. When I die bury me in my PJ's. If I'm gonna be sleeping that long I wanna be comfortable.
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@ThinkingSavage: Loan officer: And what is the purpose of your loan, Sir? Me: Whole Foods. I shop at Whole Foods.
@tangledteatime: An eight year old offered to sell me drugs. Isn't that disgusting? Why would I pay when I can just beat him up and take them? He's EIGHT.