@ch000ch: i never understood why we had to blow on the nintendo cartridge before eating it
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@LucTabone: My son has the ability to predict what will happen in the future and later explain why it didn't happen. I think I'm raising a politician.
@Sickayduh: "911 what's your emergency?" - I've been catfished by a dozen men "We're on our way" - Gonna arrest them? "Gonna shut off your internet"
@JeffSarcastic: *sends epic tweet* [no likes 3 hours later] *waits 2 weeks, sends again* [no likes 1 day later] *starts typing* NSA: dude, let it go
@the_anastasia: "Are you working right now? Where are you working?" Facebook is worse than my parents.