@JODYHiGHROLLER: i NEVER VOTED FOR A PRESiDENT BECUZ iF iM GUNNA WASTE MY GAS THEN iT BETTER BE ON SOMETHiNG iMPORTANT LiKE DRiViNG TO CHiCK-FiL-A
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@andreeahluscu: Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor.
@mrsmith196645: Guys, if your lady tells you she needs windshield wiper blades, SHE DOES NOT MEAN FOR CHRISTMAS!
@CantWaitToNap: When a cop gently helps you in his car, promises you an overnighter & talks about bonding, he isn't taking you on a date... I know this now.
@DaddyJew: I just watched one kid call his twin brother ugly and now I'm just waiting for him to realize what that means