@_sweet_ham: I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
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@UnicornSyrup: Me at age 5 "I wish I had a $1" Me at age 10 "I wish I had $100" Me at age 17 "I wish I had $1,000,000" Me at age 26 "I wish I had $1"
@notorious_stars: I've decided to write a 'knock knock' joke about Jehovah's witnesses. "Knock, Knock, Knock , knock knock knock knock knock "
@dom_dot_dom: A Serial Killer Known For Ripping Out Tounges Entered The Buzzfeed Office And What He Did Next Left Us Speechless