@_sweet_ham: I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
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@TheAlexNevil: My German girlfriend said she wants me to eat her Kürbiskuchen. I was aroused. I found out it means pumpkin pie. Now I'm more aroused.
@ItsJusKimberly: [doorbell] 4: *opens door Hi, is your mom home? 4: she's in the tower mom: whispers from behind door "no no no it's SHOWER not tower!"
@robo_junkie: I want to get arrested by a motorcycle cop just so I can hold him tenderly around the waist on my way to jail.