@SCbchbum: I never wanted to hug someone as badly as the little old man who just ordered a "small coffee flavored coffee" in Starbucks.
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@holymolynicole: My ex didn't realize 'cheat day' only meant he could eat whatever FOOD he wanted.
@leehopkins: Anti-gay preacher comes to Iceland. Locals buy all tickets to his event in Reykjavik, and then don't turn up, leaving empty arena. Class.
@AristotlesNZ: Boss: You're late! You shoulda been here two hours ago! Me: Why? What happened two hours ago?