@daplusk: I nod and smile at empty places just to confuse any ghosts that might be there into thinking i can see them.
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@AnkCoupleTO: Smooth Criminal: I use a razor Smoother Criminal: I get laser treatments Smoothest Criminal: *it's just an Asian guy laughing at them both*
@Los01001111: My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.
@SCBamaMan: As soon as you see the cop approaching, throw the bag of weed in his hands and do a citizen's arrest.
@SondraDeeMe: [vet office] ME: *puts cat on counter* He's sick VET: How so? ME: Look *cat's arranging magazines & gently tosses empty cup in garbage*