@Kyle_Lippert: I nominate Chris Brown to dump a bucket of boiling hot water on himself & to raise awareness for domestic violence.
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@smelbz: The worst part of going on a date with a guy I don't like is how my grandma always dies before our food gets there.
@MmeJey: Sliding my tongue in every hole not breaking eye contact with deli clerk is why they kicked me out & won't let me buy Swiss cheese anymore.
@ermahgarton: MURDERER: could a murderer do THIS? *defendant proceeds to not kill anyone* JUDGE: he's got a point