@audipenny: I noticed that you're still staring at me after I already answered your question, what can we do to stop this
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@rmfnord: The worst part about crapping my pants at work was having to set the ACCIDENT FREE sign back to zero days in front of everybody.
@Book_Krazy: * Kindergarten* Hi kids! I'm the homeroom mom for your class. [writes name on chalkboard] [Boy Raises hand] We can't read. No one can read
@TheMichaelRock: Breaking News: Radio Shack is closing 1,100 stores nationwide. Even Breakier News: I can't believe there's 1,100 Radio Shack's.
@funnybeachgirl: Energizing breakfast smoothie: 1. 2 cups chopped kale 2. 1 ripe banana 3. 1/8 tsp flax oil 4. 1/2 cup coconut water 5. 3 grams of cocaine