@seanforhire: i noticed you didn't put interpretive dance on your gift registry but i went ahead and got it for you anyways
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@therealeatwood: “I have a dream that one day little black children will work together with little white children, to destroy Superman.” — Martin Luthor King
@LurkAtHomeMom: 3: *throws plate in sink Me: but you barely ate! 3: yeah, I'm full...what are you eating? Me: the same thing you had 3: can I have a bite?
@GABBYdaAngSaya: 911: What's your emergency, sir? Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*
@KevinFarzad: If you like someone and don't know if they like you, just sue them and then ask them under oath if they think you're cute.