@seanforhire: i noticed you didn't put interpretive dance on your gift registry but i went ahead and got it for you anyways
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@primawesome: If we keep building giant walls at the border to Mexico it's only a matter of time before natural selection gives us giant Mexicans.
@TheToddWilliams: THEO VAN GOGH: I can’t believe you lost your other ear in a poker game VINCENT VAN GOGH: What?
@uncle_fescue: I just saw my ex get hit by a snow plow but in all fairness I have never driven one of these before.
@junejuly12: Ever get home, look at your hair in a mirror, and wonder how many small children you terrified while you were out