@bistromath2013: I now have 8 apps to communicate with the same people.
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@Book_Krazy: "And why do you want to work at the aquarium?" * imagines me with a mermaid tail swimming in the giant tank after hours* I like fish
@zachreinert03: Saw a TV at the dumpster with a sign that said 'free TV' and boy do I feel stupid, I paid $200 for the last TV sitting at a dumpster
@causticbob: A boy asks his mom, "Why am I black and you're white?" She says, "Don't even go there. The way that party went, you're lucky you don't bark"
@midnightwhale: [walks up to firefighters trying to put out a fire] it's alright guys i got this one. *whips out a flamethrower* TIME TO FIGHT FIRE WITH FI-