@RealDMK: I now realize that my mom did not actually have eyes in the back of her head. She just did as I do, randomly yell out "stop it" every 30 min
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@SteveSuckington: "U can legally stab someone if u suspect they're a Gary." -no you can't *pulling knife from sheath* "Sounds like somthin a Gary would say"
@KalvinMacleod: [driving test] INSTRUCTOR: Any initial concerns? ME: Volcanoes I: About the test? M: No I: Ok then let's go M: *drives into active volcano*
@weinerdog4life: Justin Beiber has 23 million followers and I just got unfollowed by a horse magazine.
@SkinnerSteven: I wrote 'WILL YOU MARRY ME?' on a balloon. However, before I could propose... -I popped the question