@RealDMK: I now realize that my mom did not actually have eyes in the back of her head. She just did as I do, randomly yell out "stop it" every 30 min
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@click4amanda: Officer: "Do you know why I'm standing here?" Me: "You got all C's in High School?"
@HelloJessicaFox: (My romance novel) “You have a pretty face,” he said. “Thank you,” she said, lifting up her bangs. “I’ve got even more face under here.”
@Rollinintheseat: When I go to a restaurant, I stare at the menu for 10 minutes, and then order the exact same thing I did the last 20 times I've been there.