@3sunzzz: I occasionally call my son when he's with me so I can hear what my ringtone is on his phone. Last week I was the theme song from Psycho.
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@daemonic3: [at TED talk] OMG that man is having a heart attack! Anyone here a doctor? *entire crowd stands* No a MEDICAL doctor *entire crowd sits*
@MelvinofYork: If my wife calls me passive-aggressive one more time I swear to God I'm going to run the dishwasher half-empty again