@Lisabug74: I offered to split the check but my date insisted we go old fashion and fight to the death.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dragonsorbet: [Confession] "I killed a man" "Wait what" "Lol had to get that off my chest, now why did you come in today, my son?"
@joryjohn: [Baby crying in a movie theater] Me: "What's his name?" Parent: "Ethan." Me: "The movie's starting, Ethan."
@shkeeber: Do you hate yourself? Do you wish someone would trip you down stairs? Do you enjoy lacerations & and surprise vomit piles? *hands you a cat*
@Playing_Dad: [At job interview] Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?