@Lisabug74: I offered to split the check but my date insisted we go old fashion and fight to the death.
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@PyrBliss: I'm a pretty law abiding citizen, but overweight and out of shape security guards really make me want to test their commitment to the job.
@jjhartinger: Just when I thought I had my life together. I found my missing shoe in the microwave.
@zachreinert03: Any dance can be a no pants dance. In fact, might be a fun way to bring back the Macarena