@WildeThingy: I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
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@tuckerflodman: To Do List While in Jail 1. Ask someone for an Eskimo kiss and when they shake their head no say,"Hey why'd you start without me?" 2. 3.
@bazecraze: I'm gonna create chaos in my neighborhood by putting giant bows on all the cars the night before Christmas.
@shadygrenade: Obama: Get Air Force One ready. Biden: OK! *runs off* Obama: The plane, not the movie. *Biden does 360* Biden: Yeah I know.