@BGH70: I often wish that gravity was a more selective force regarding who it kept on this planet.
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@Hurly_Burly: 878 dead bodies lay there. Liam Nesson "Are we done?" Police: "Sure, I don't see any reason why we should arrest you."
@Vinnie_Maselli: [holds up bread] "This is my body" [holds up wine] "this is my blood" [holds up puppy] "and this is my new pet" [apostles go fricken nuts]
@MartaEffing: When I'm with you, I'm breathless. My pulse quickens and I can feel my entire body getting hot. Also, you're a treadmill and I'm asthmatic.
@1Happytwit: Some bloke on FB called me a clown. Now I've got to go hide under his bed with a knife cause that's what clowns do.