@dafloydsta: I once dated a girl for 3 months because we were stuck in a hammock.
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@ShortSleeveSuit: [first day on the job at a mattress store] Boss: I don’t think this is working out. You called these pillows headpuffs four times now. Me: *sighing* I’m just trying to sell your nap trampolines.
@TravLeBlanc: My friend went to a salon and asked them to straighten his hair. So they took out his highlights.
@whereami18: Saying no thanks to a CW's offer to hit me with their car so I could take the day off proves decisions shouldn't be made before coffee