@dafloydsta: I once dated a girl for 3 months because we were stuck in a hammock.
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@david8hughes: The plumber came to fix the toilet & said, "Where is the water main?" so I turned on the tap & said, "Right here, main."
@aaronnemo: If I was ever on Jeopardy I would call Trebek the wrong name like I'd never heard of him. "I'll take Beauty Pageants for 400, Jason."
@Darlainky: Separation anxiety is common among toddlers, dogs, and would-be divorcees finding out how much divorcing costs.
@bromanconsul: hiking is this great activity where u drive to a beautiful place and then spend an hour staring at the ground 2 make sure u don't fall over