@GreenEyedJedi: I once dated a guy who left a trail of rose petals leading to a sinkful of dirty dishes.
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@dragnut: Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
@KingPatrick24: The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
@electrolemon: yesterday at the mall a woman asked for my opinion between two men's shirts and immediately went to check out with the one i didn't choose