@GreenEyedJedi: I once dated a guy who left a trail of rose petals leading to a sinkful of dirty dishes.
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@AristotlesNZ: Yea? Well who died & made you Batman? Oh crap..that's right. Bruce, I'm so sorry. Come on, dude, don't cry. Seriously, where you going?
@Nuwaha17: I quit drinking & people laughed at me. Now the iPhone 7 is here and I get to sell a clean & pure Liver. The joke is now on them.
@mattZillaaaa: Always hide you prescription bottles from your medicine cabinet so ppl don't know how crazy you are. Also, you're now out of xanax.