@MisterBombay: I once dated a woman named Kim who hated to be called Kimberly. Then I dated a woman named Chelsea who really hated to be called Kimberly
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@P0tterhead_394: My music preferences range between something your grandma would listen to, to something that could potentially kill her.
@truegritrumble: ME: *holding my crying newborn son* There. There. I ALSO find myself very upsetting.
@celestinelea90: Was in the hot tub a full 3 minutes before I noticed the floating chipmunk so probably don't ask me questions about a crime scene
@david8hughes: [in church] "And Jesus, our saviour, died on the cross for your sins." [vicar points directly at me & entire congregation collectively nods]