@CubanaMama82: I once got a ride home from the pizza guy by ordering 1 pizza to be delivered to the bar and 1 to my house. Pretty sure i deserve an award.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iwearaonesie: friend: What’s one thing marriage has taught you? me: If you walk into the house eating a candy bar you better have one for her too
@TheMichaelRock: CW: It's gonna get cold! Me: You're gonna die. CW: Excuse me? Me: Sorry, I thought we were pointing out the obvious.
@Sarcasticsapien: Dating in your thirties is fun because you get to tell strangers intimate parts of your past to help them decide that you're staying single.