@alliejane_508: I once left a love note on the wrong car, so yeah, you should totally trust me with important paperwork.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PJTLynch: Hospitals make mistakes with newborns, so before bringing yours home, check by rubbing its belly. If it curls in and bites you, that’s a cat
@WheelTod: Cement your reputation as the office Romeo by committing suicide over an underage girl you've been seeing for less than a week.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: DOCTOR: You need to excercise portion control. ME: Thank God. For a second I thought you said I needed to exercise.