@alliejane_508: I once left a love note on the wrong car, so yeah, you should totally trust me with important paperwork.
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@lecalabara: "To hell with it, thats good enough." - every person after theyve ever tried to iron a shirt. Ever.
@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: I just love a man who's not afraid to be honest. ME: *trying to impress* You sound really stupid right now.
@farahfergie: The Cheesecake Factory had a "Help Wanted" sign. I was really disappointed that it wasn't to help eat the cheesecake. #FluffyChickProblems