@FeverFlave: I once lip locked the soft ice dispenser at Dairy Queen until the manager had to hit me with a mop. So I know a little bit about rejection.
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@envydatropic: Squirrels run around looking for food because they don't have access to technology and the endless supply of nuts on Twitter.
@tastefactory: The best part about Halloween is seeing people in costume doing normal shit. Just saw a Dracula standing by a car eating potato chips.
@JKickinit30: [hiding in the bushes] Me:*whispering*they can't see me Cops: Sir. Your light up shoes are still flashing.