@gabemakesmusic: I once saw a road sign that said, "Slow Down, Small Children at Play" but then it occurred to me that I'm not afraid of small children
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@TheZachCozad: Can't get a girl? Rip out your rib and make your own! Critics are raving "this doesn't work" and "I'm bleeding to death".
@vapidaccount: Thanks autocorrect...clearly "I am fantasy" is a better answer than "fantastic" when asked how I'm doing...
@AGStr8upNinja: Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee's you're buying it off of sure can.