@gabemakesmusic: I once saw a road sign that said, "Slow Down, Small Children at Play" but then it occurred to me that I'm not afraid of small children
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@WilliamAder: As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it's a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?
@DestineyLynn: As I was going through my wallet for a second I thought I got robbed... And then I remembered I got gas.
@warbird622: Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on Twitter right now.....