@WilliamAder: I once walked out of a movie because the actor's fake typing was so bad.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jergarl: Wife:Did you take ambien last night? Me: *recalls riding a unicorn that's on fire* No, why? W:The dog's wearing a saddle and she's orange.
@phalguy: After watching Star Wars 20 told me he probably wouldn't go and see it again. And now I'm thinking he looks a lot like my old mailman.
@CoolCamel69: [picking out a washing machine] how many watermelons can this hold? "uhh I dunno, 11?" only 11? *keeps walking to next one* how many waterme
@hippieswordfish: *sees red lobster commercial* oh shit that looks good *goes to red lobster* what the absolute hell happened in here