@SuperRandomish: I once watched a documentary on ferns because the remote was out of reach.
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@notalogin: God never gives you more than you can handle. But I'm not God. I'm just a bag boy. And you'll wanna take these groceries out in the cart.
@Breadery: Her: What do you like about me? Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What? Me: Your eyes
@weinerdog4life: Of course bears shit in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
@IamEnidColeslaw: I always keep at least 6 wigs in my trunk for trips to the grocery store so I can keep going back for samples