@SuperRandomish: I once watched a documentary on ferns because the remote was out of reach.
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@Thynebear: Mom I get nervous on dates & always sweat. "Wear something that doesn't show stains" [5 hours later] How was your date? She hated my poncho.
@TheFearBoners: Forget the Home Alone parents forgetting their kid. Why the hell do they own a bunch of mannequins?
@Just_Lee_: The world is full of terrible people, but there's none so evil as the man who fries bacon right next door to the gym.