@jus4golf: I once went out with a girl that said she was flexible like a Slinky. Two flights of stairs later, I decided she wasn't.
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@TheToddWilliams: [chef interview] BOSS: Are you familiar with kitchen jargon ME: Yeah, that means you're missing a jar
@SodomyClown: ME: "I don't like this movie." HIM: "We are at a funeral." ME: "Who directed this?" HIM: "A bear attack." ME: "Never heard of him."