@IGotsSmarts: I once went to a diner and ordered a chicken salad sandwich and an egg salad sandwich to see which would come first.
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@notacroc: [at a bar] CUTE GIRL: *grabs my arm* hey there ME: *mouth full of food* did you know a lobster on a kabob is called a kablobster
@DaddyJew: Dentist: have you been flossing? [ flashback to me picking steak out of my teeth with a potato chip earlier ] Me: yes