@IGotsSmarts: I once went to a diner and ordered a chicken salad sandwich and an egg salad sandwich to see which would come first.
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@upsidedowntrash: Mom: What are you hiding in there? -nuthin [Vin Diesel noises from closet] M: Is Vin Diesel in there? -...yes Vin Diesel: [from closet] No.
@davidkenny100: About to hit the ball Boss: you said you'd played before? Me: uh yes Boss: that's a putter Me: Is that wrong? Boss: wrong for squash yes
@murrman5: [phone w/ son while in bank thats being robbed] in case this goes bad, go to google on the iPad and delete "can owls fly" before mom sees it