@Black__Elvis: I only buy expensive baby food with cute babies on the label because I'm willing to pay extra if it means my kids aren't eating ugly babies.
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@tastefactory: Most kids have a stuffed animal or blankie. My niece has one of those plastic owls u put outside to scare away birds
@Reverend_Scott: [funeral] He looks so natural. Ya, but he looks a little stiff. *raises from the dead* "That's what... *gargle* ...she said." *dies again*
@causticbob: Someone recently asked me, "What blood type are you?".. I said , "The red runny type".
@bellicosejason: If you're behind someone at an ATM, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.