@iresurfaced: I only came to this school reunion because one of you've got my Wu Tang tape.
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@aaronpaul_8: Joe: Yes, that was me. Obama: Please stop. Joe: I will not stop. This room will smell so bad when he gets here. Obama: Joe... Joe: Nope.
@El_nacho_Nigre: I feel so alive when I watch an object fall and shatter into hundreds of pieces. Not alive enough to clean up the mess though.
@roggyie: Men in suits look really successful until you find out they work for the men in T-shirts and jeans
@DanMentos: *runs into san francisco restaurant* THE KALE WASN'T LOCALLY SOURCED *sound of 100s of ubers smashing into each other outside restaurant*