@Jade_VK: I only carry cash anymore in case I need to make a dramatic exit in the middle of coffee with a detective
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@Dawn_M_: During a zombie apocalypse, establish dominance by approaching the baddest zombie with the snappiest teeth and braid his hair.
@Book_Krazy: [arrives at sales meeting with giraffe I bought last month] "Ok, did everyone bring a graph tracking your activity this month?" ME: uh oh