@Sarcasticsapien: I only discriminate against people who discriminate. I'm basically the Dexter of discrimination.
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@StinkyGr33n: I went to the bathroom and forgot my phone. Had to read the little paper about Toxic Shock Syndrome from the tampon box again
@MinedOvaMatter: I saw her biting her bottom lip so I threw her a cupcake. Poor girl must have been starving.
@SteveSuckington: "I take pride in my job. I transport the worlds most precious cargo" -oh, u drive a school bus? "LMAO Hell no! I'm a drug smuggler u nerd"
@Jenny4ashley: I almost drowned trying to swim today. The security guard didn't even care he just told me to get the hell out of the mall fountain.