@Sarcasticsapien: I only discriminate against people who discriminate. I'm basically the Dexter of discrimination.
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@Eightinchgoat: Just convinced the teen up the street that he needs to change the winter air out of his tires and put in summer air. Don't do dope, kids.
@FudgeRobot: Sometimes when I'm about to sneeze, I snort some glitter. Then when I finally sneeze, glitter fills the air and people think I'm a wizard.
@NurseMurderer: him: what are you looking for on this dating site? me: someone who will hold the cats down so I can take pics of them wearing sunglasses.
@TheCatWhisprer: You can tell a lot about a person based on what they use as a gender-neutral singular pronoun.