@zachreinert03: I only eat free range chicken because I only eat food that was given the illusion of freedom before it was murdered
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@Sophie2078: Christmas is great! You can sit on the lap of a total stranger and no one is offended.
@ShortWhiteNUgly: Me: I found a job! Mom: That's great! What is it? Me: debt collection! Mom:.... Me..... Mom:... Me: I think you know why I'm calling.
@BlindChow: "You're attachment is too large," my computer tells me. I blush. "My eyes are up here," I respond coyly.