@aneesa_p: I only have 4 months left on that mirror I broke in 2005.
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@AmishPornStar1: It's important to be comfortable in your own skin... Because, apparently, it's illegal to wear someone else's.
@ehdannyboy: To tell the difference between an African and an Indian elephant, you look at its ears, then lift one up and shout "WHERE ARE YOU FROM M8?"
@VestaTot: Help 9-1-1! I just found my husband! He's been drugged in his coffee and then stabbed with a pen knife but that didn't work and then shot!
@KKAlThani: *trips a girl and catches her* Haha looks like you're falling for me *winks* *gets slapped*