@Ideal_Victoria: I only have sex with the lights off to prevent having to explain some of my tattoos.
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@CulturedRuffian: I just danced like no Juan was watching, but he totally was and he cut off the tequila then threw me out of his restaurant you guys.
@RandiLawson: We've replaced the names of the foreign countries & leaders in Trump's speech with the names of IKEA® furniture. Let's see if he notices
@walruslifestyle: you cannot glue a tomato back together with tomato paste believe me I've tried