@Steelers1972: I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off.
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@slyoung5: Irritating friend: I passed your house yesterday. Me: Thanks. I really appreciate that.
@Contwixt: "I need a timing belt & power steering for my life" I say to my new bros, using the only 2 car-terms I know in a single testosterone bullet.
@joe_binkley: Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise... Turns out it was just a Pitbull song on the radio.