@mjkspeaks: I only make mistakes when I'm around people who are observant.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: What’s “saying grace?” Me: It’s when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave?
@PJTLynch: Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I've learned that I don't need to use so many paper towels, and they're expensive.