@ilovepie84: I only shave half my face in case that I get arrested so that they will have two different side profile pictures.
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@WheelTod: A guy I know got bitten by a radioactive bedbug. He spent 3 weeks in a coma, but when he came round again he was able to fold a fitted sheet
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Coworker: By your age I was on my 3rd child already. Me: Wow that's a lot of kids to eat in a such a short period of time.
@lovemyboots111: How do you know your man is cheating? When he drives by her place the wifi connects